Regression of #138: joining a friend's invite still puts the joiner's Chief on the inviter's main list #161

Environment: ThinkFlowLab/FlyBot main 7a7225f on @deepseek-ai/dsh@0.2.0-rc.2, A (:3080 SelfA1136) / B (:3081 SelfB1136), Bot Social https://47-80-69-220.sslip.io. Scheduled UI self-test 2026-10-17 (~11:47 Asia/Shanghai). Only Chief exists on each home (no Helper Bot).

What happened

1. A: + → Copy invite link (toast: “Invite link copied. Send it to a friend.”).
2. B: + → Add friend → paste A’s link → Talk through Chief with copy “(not shared unless you invite them to it)” → Join.
3. B toast/status: “Chief shared Chief with you.” No Accept/Decline step. B’s main list gains SelfA1136's Chief (globe “Friend's Bot”) — expected grant from A → B.
4. A’s main list also gains SelfB1136's Chief (Friend's Bot) even though B never sent an invite and the Add-friend copy said Talk-through Chief is not shared.
5. After B Remove this Bot on A’s Chief, A still lists SelfB1136's Chief.

This is the same class as closed #138 (accepting/joining an invite exposes the joiner’s Chief to the inviter), reappearing after the unified main-list sidebar (#145) on tip 7a7225f.

Repro

1. Fresh A and B; only Chief on each.
2. A copies invite link; B joins with Talk through Chief.
3. Check A’s main sidebar for SelfB…'s Chief without any invite from B.

Expected (owner design)

• Per-Bot grants, default deny / no publish.
• Joining A’s invite grants A’s invited Bot to B only.
• Talk-through Bot on the joiner is “not shared unless you invite them to it.”
• Inviter must not see the joiner’s Chief unless the joiner explicitly invites/grants it.

Actual

Inviter immediately sees joiner’s Chief in the main list; it remains after the joiner removes the inviter’s Bot.

Notes

• Face-to-face was run afterward in the same session; the reciprocal Chief on A appeared at friendship time (step 3), before the room.
• English UI; no separate Friends' Bots section (main list + globe marker) — listing place changed since Per-Bot grants leak: accepting a Helper invite exposes the joiner's Chief; face-room Chief shows in Friends' Bots; Manage access wrong/raw #138, leak behavior matches.